Hate is a strong word. But is it too strong?
Well, that depends. I generally try to avoid using the word “hate”. I reserve it for a few things: The devil. Marxist philosphy. The New England Patriots.
…And public bathrooms.
Why do I hate public bathrooms? There are many reasons, starting with the fact that “public” and “bathroom” are two words that should never be used in the same sentence.
To be fair, I understand the necessity of public bathrooms. They exist for good reason. But this doesn’t mean that I have to like them…
Aside from the fact that a restroom that everyone shares is conceptually gross, there really is a lot to dislike about public bathrooms.
1. Starting with the bathrooms in a gas station. They look like they’ve been used by cavemen and have never been cleaned… which is probably the case...
And at a certain point, I begin to wonder: do people INTENTIONALLY admit flies? It has to be on purpose.
2. I have never encountered a public bathroom that possesses toilet paper of the appropriate thickness. I am pretty certain that I am not the only person to have experienced the struggle of desperately trying to get toilet paper out of the holder on the wall without tearing it to tiny shreds. Tiny shreds are not effective…
It takes about 15 minutes to carefully extract a feasible amount of toilet paper. Exegetically, this can be likened to a rich man going to heaven; or, getting a camel through the eye of a needle. It is impossible.
What's the deal? Has the issue of deforestation been dragged into our public bathrooms?
This should not be. Honestly, I wouldn't care if there were one tree left in the entire world. CUT IT DOWN. I want thick toilet paper.
As science advances, I am hoping someone will look into this toilet paper issue.
3. Though I appreciate the sentiment, I detest self-flushing toilets. Why? Because they always flush at the most improper, least opportune time. Typically, it occurs too early. At times, I feel like screaming at my toilet, "I'm not done yet!". In a bathroom, this behavior is considered odd.
And self-flushing toilets are only one of the many automatic machines found in bathrooms that never function properly. For example, automatic sinks. Sure, they turn on. And that's great, for as long as it lasts, which is about three seconds. Or automatic paper towel dispensers, which SAY that all you have to do is wave your hand in front of the little sensor. Lies. I have to DANCE in front of that stupid little sensor, and it still won't give me any paper towels. Most of the time, I just rip that dispenser off the wall, smash it on the ground, and then use the hand drier (which is also automatic, and turns on if you come within 10 feet of it and scares the crap out of everyone. But that's okay. If you're going to have the crap scared out of you, you might as well be in the bathroom).
I guess they figured that if the sinks were never going to stay on long enough, the driers should stay on all day. I mean, those driers run for about 15 minutes after I'm done actually using them. This is especially bad because, every time the driers are turned on, I think there's a Category 4 hurricane blowing through.
Here's an idea: how about automatic doors for bathrooms? Because if you really want to avoid germy surfaces, avoid door handles. Not fresh, clean paper towels that are disposable and unused.
4. As an employee at a fast-food restaurant, it can be really irking to see the way people treat our bathrooms. For example, the people who throw a party in the bathroom and use toilet paper as the confetti of choice.
And that's not all.
For example, I'd like to know how and why one locks a stall door and leaves the restroom. Because crawling around on the bathroom floor sounds really unpleasant and disgusting. Maybe even germier than those door handles…
Or the people who throw trash in the toilet. There is a REASON that I put a trash can in there. Hint: IT'S FOR TRASH. This is not hard. Gum wrappers, plastic, cardboard, and cigarettes do not belong in the toilet. Do I need to post a sign?
Speaking of signs, do I have to out one up to remind you to flush? Why don't people flush? Are they assuming the toilet will do it for them? Many times, it won't. Many toilets have not yet been reduced to the level of stupid, ineffective self-flushing toilets.
Of course, for some people, flushing is not even part of the equation. I'm referring, of course, to those "so close yet so far" moments. Yes, you made it into the bathroom. No, you did not make it to the part of the bathroom you're SUPPOSED to use. Look, if you leave a mess on the wall or the floor (or, you know, the ceiling), LET ME KNOW. It's a lot better if you tell me than if another customer finds out. Other customers don't like being the ones to find out. And I don't like it either, because they can be pretty nasty about it.
In my opinion, public bathrooms have really taken a step down in the past years. Remember when we'd sit side-by-side in public bathrooms and have a hearty discussion of the state of political affairs? You probably don't, unless you were a citizen in the Roman empire.
See, back in the good ol' days, public bathrooms were used as a hub of the social life. It was not uncommon to encounter a deep discussion or debate between two people using the crapper. Strange? Maybe. But notice; the Romans were a lot more politically involved than we are today. Maybe we should look into this idea.
(Yes, I made the picture myself.)
Public bathrooms USED to be both sanitary and social. Not so anymore. How would you react today if you walked into a bathroom and overheard intense political debate?
And there you have it.
Now, don't even get me started on porta-potties...
Well, that depends. I generally try to avoid using the word “hate”. I reserve it for a few things: The devil. Marxist philosphy. The New England Patriots.
…And public bathrooms.
Why do I hate public bathrooms? There are many reasons, starting with the fact that “public” and “bathroom” are two words that should never be used in the same sentence.
To be fair, I understand the necessity of public bathrooms. They exist for good reason. But this doesn’t mean that I have to like them…
Aside from the fact that a restroom that everyone shares is conceptually gross, there really is a lot to dislike about public bathrooms.
1. Starting with the bathrooms in a gas station. They look like they’ve been used by cavemen and have never been cleaned… which is probably the case...
And at a certain point, I begin to wonder: do people INTENTIONALLY admit flies? It has to be on purpose.
2. I have never encountered a public bathroom that possesses toilet paper of the appropriate thickness. I am pretty certain that I am not the only person to have experienced the struggle of desperately trying to get toilet paper out of the holder on the wall without tearing it to tiny shreds. Tiny shreds are not effective…
It takes about 15 minutes to carefully extract a feasible amount of toilet paper. Exegetically, this can be likened to a rich man going to heaven; or, getting a camel through the eye of a needle. It is impossible.
What's the deal? Has the issue of deforestation been dragged into our public bathrooms?
This should not be. Honestly, I wouldn't care if there were one tree left in the entire world. CUT IT DOWN. I want thick toilet paper.
As science advances, I am hoping someone will look into this toilet paper issue.
3. Though I appreciate the sentiment, I detest self-flushing toilets. Why? Because they always flush at the most improper, least opportune time. Typically, it occurs too early. At times, I feel like screaming at my toilet, "I'm not done yet!". In a bathroom, this behavior is considered odd.
And self-flushing toilets are only one of the many automatic machines found in bathrooms that never function properly. For example, automatic sinks. Sure, they turn on. And that's great, for as long as it lasts, which is about three seconds. Or automatic paper towel dispensers, which SAY that all you have to do is wave your hand in front of the little sensor. Lies. I have to DANCE in front of that stupid little sensor, and it still won't give me any paper towels. Most of the time, I just rip that dispenser off the wall, smash it on the ground, and then use the hand drier (which is also automatic, and turns on if you come within 10 feet of it and scares the crap out of everyone. But that's okay. If you're going to have the crap scared out of you, you might as well be in the bathroom).
I guess they figured that if the sinks were never going to stay on long enough, the driers should stay on all day. I mean, those driers run for about 15 minutes after I'm done actually using them. This is especially bad because, every time the driers are turned on, I think there's a Category 4 hurricane blowing through.
Here's an idea: how about automatic doors for bathrooms? Because if you really want to avoid germy surfaces, avoid door handles. Not fresh, clean paper towels that are disposable and unused.
4. As an employee at a fast-food restaurant, it can be really irking to see the way people treat our bathrooms. For example, the people who throw a party in the bathroom and use toilet paper as the confetti of choice.
And that's not all.
For example, I'd like to know how and why one locks a stall door and leaves the restroom. Because crawling around on the bathroom floor sounds really unpleasant and disgusting. Maybe even germier than those door handles…
Or the people who throw trash in the toilet. There is a REASON that I put a trash can in there. Hint: IT'S FOR TRASH. This is not hard. Gum wrappers, plastic, cardboard, and cigarettes do not belong in the toilet. Do I need to post a sign?
Speaking of signs, do I have to out one up to remind you to flush? Why don't people flush? Are they assuming the toilet will do it for them? Many times, it won't. Many toilets have not yet been reduced to the level of stupid, ineffective self-flushing toilets.
Of course, for some people, flushing is not even part of the equation. I'm referring, of course, to those "so close yet so far" moments. Yes, you made it into the bathroom. No, you did not make it to the part of the bathroom you're SUPPOSED to use. Look, if you leave a mess on the wall or the floor (or, you know, the ceiling), LET ME KNOW. It's a lot better if you tell me than if another customer finds out. Other customers don't like being the ones to find out. And I don't like it either, because they can be pretty nasty about it.
In my opinion, public bathrooms have really taken a step down in the past years. Remember when we'd sit side-by-side in public bathrooms and have a hearty discussion of the state of political affairs? You probably don't, unless you were a citizen in the Roman empire.
See, back in the good ol' days, public bathrooms were used as a hub of the social life. It was not uncommon to encounter a deep discussion or debate between two people using the crapper. Strange? Maybe. But notice; the Romans were a lot more politically involved than we are today. Maybe we should look into this idea.
(Yes, I made the picture myself.)
Public bathrooms USED to be both sanitary and social. Not so anymore. How would you react today if you walked into a bathroom and overheard intense political debate?
And there you have it.
Now, don't even get me started on porta-potties...
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