The NFL announced Monday
morning it is investigating allegations that the New England Patriots cheated
prior to Sunday night’s AFC Championship showdown. The Patriots are being investigated for
tampering with the game balls used in the match that determined the AFC team
that would advance to the Super Bowl. New
England handed the Indianpolis Colts a crushing defeat, allowing only 7 points
and putting up 45 to advance to the final round and face the Seattle Seahawks
for the NFL title.
However, questions are now
being rasied as to possible misconduct on the part of the Patriots; the team is
being accused of attaching rocket propellors to the game balls.
Doubt as to the normalcy of
the game balls arose after one of quarterback Tom Brady’s passes clocked at an
unbelievable 268.3 miles-per-hour. This
particular pass was thrown late in the second quarter to wide receiver Rob
Gronkowski, and prompted the NFL to announce that it is investigating the game
ball situation that preceded the Patriots’ emphatic victory.
Patriots head coach Bill
Belichick has promised to cooperate with the investigation, but denies all
allegations of wrongdoing, saying,
“My quarterback has a good arm. That’s why he’s my quarterback.”
Tom Brady approached
questions on the issue in a similar manner, saying,
“These things are ridiculous, I don’t even pay
attention to them. The clocking devices
were obviously wrong, and the fact that D’Qwell Jackson shattered his hand
intercepting a pass is a complete coincidence.”
Offensive lineman* Vince
Willfork stated,
“I didn’t notice anything unusual. My job is to tackle people, not to notice the
fact that the ball is breaking the sound barrier.”
The NFL is also investigating the possibility of further altering
to the footballs. Sources say that one
NFL insider suggested,
“It is possible that certain force field
projectors were inserted into the footballs, making it impossible for the
Indianapolis Colts to perform any sort of adequate tackle. The NFL is examining all possibilities.”
The penalty for cheating is up in the air, and the NFL has
not come out with a definitive punishment.
On the list of possibilities is a lengthy lecture on integrity and
honesty, though some argue that this is not severe enough and suggest a swat on
the wrist for all Patriots staff members as an alternative. The NFL assures us, however, that the
punishment will match the crime.
It can perhaps be said that head coach Bill Belichick has an
ill reputation in the league; not only has he admitted to and been fined for
cheating in the past, but he also wears sweatshirts with the sleeves idiotically
cut off, which totally defeats the purpose of a sweatshirt and is a definite
fashion faux pas. Perhaps it is time for
the New England Patriots to ask themselves: do we want to be coached and led
by grown men, or by toddlers who break the rules to get their way? Knowing the Patriots, the latter is probably
preferable.
(*Note: In the case of the New England Patriots, all
lineman can be labeled “offensive”; however, the use of the word here is a
reference to the fact that Willfork plays offense.)
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