In the midst of bitter controversy over the coming Iranian nuke deal, top Democrats are attempting to set the record straight.
“The idea, the common misconception, seems to be that we are arming Iran; that we are actually supplying Iran with nuclear weapons,” said White House spokesman Josh Earnest, “this is absurd, and it couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are not arming Iran with weapons of mass destruction. We are allowing them to arm themselves. That’s not the same.”
When asked why the second course of action was any safer or more acceptable, Earnest replied,
“It’s just… different.”
Lawmakers in Washington have been disputing the “Iranian question” increasingly over the past few months, with politicians on both sides of the aisle refusing to give ground. Democrats have received heated criticism for what has been perceived as capitulating to the Iranian state, a state which has been labeled by the GOP as “unpredictable and unsafe”. The White House voices a different opinion.
“Iran is our ally. Iran will always be our ally. I don’t think we can really deny that,” Earnest asserted, “Look, sanctions have worked. Just because Iranians are chanting ‘death to America’ and the Ayatollah is vowing to wipe Israel off the face of the earth does not negate Iran as one of our major foreign policy successes.”
As President Obama attempts to hammer out a deal with Iranian leaders at his fanciful, dream-gilded “negotiation table”, his critics insist that the results of the arbitration will be unsafe for the American people. The President, however, disagrees.
“Uh… I really… uh… am not sure exactly… uh… why people are… uh… saying this,” said President Barack Obama, reading from his teleprompter, “it’s… uh… it’s… silly.”
Vice President Joe Biden concurs, contending that Iran is completely safe, and does not pose a threat to the United States or its allies.
“Look, in the late 1970s, Iran had American hostages,” said Biden, “Now they don’t. That’s called progress, right?”
Responding to queries about Iran’s questionable views towards Israel, Biden stated,
“To say that Iran is anti-Jew is like saying that Hitler was anti-Jew. He wasn’t. He was just mean.
"It's all just talk," Biden continued, "When the Ayatollah says that the destruction of Israel is nonnegotiable, he's just talking. I'm sure he'll calm down.”
Meanwhile, 47 House Republicans, in a traitorous attempt to adhere to the Constitution and protect the world from potential nuclear warfare, have written and signed a letter to the Iranian head of state, warning the Ayatollah that any agreement signed without the consent of Congress will not be applicable, nor carry any weight.
“It’s just ridiculous,” said spokesman Earnest of the letter, “it’s ridiculous that they’d even bring the Constitution into this. Don’t they know how things work around here? It seems a little old fashioned.”
Vice President Biden agreed, saying that the letter was simply an attempt to undermine the authority of the executive branch.
“I can’t believe these lunatics,” said Biden, “who do they think they are? It’s as if they believe that Obama can’t do anything he wants. He’s the president, for crying out loud. What can’t he do?”
In response to negotiation attempts with Iran, House Speaker John Boehner formally invited Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to speak to a joint session of Congress in early March. Netanyahu attempted to dissuade lawmakers from making any sort of deal with Iran.
Netanyahu’s speech received a varied response, ranging from praise and commendation to scorn and contempt.
“I didn’t… uh… think it… uh… I didn’t think it was… uh… very good,” said President Obama, who was not present during the speech, and who never watched or listened to a recording.
The White House’s response to Netanyahu’s speech has increased suspicions of a deteriorating relationship between Israel and the United States, a deterioration that can perhaps be credited to Netanyahu’s poor leadership. Among Netanyahu’s numerous flaws and character traits that make him absolutely unsuited for office are honesty, integrity, courage, and concern for his people. The Israeli Prime Minister, however, maintains that the United States and Israel are as united as ever, in spite of rising tensions between the administrations and the negative comments made by Barack Obama to the French head of state.
“I mean, we all get a little frustrated with our friends from time to time, and we say things we don’t mean,” said spokesman Earnest, “we shouldn’t put too much weight on the president’s comments in this scenario.”
“Oh, we hate that stupid loser,” said Vice President Biden of Netanyahu, “[off mic] oh, I wasn’t supposed to say that?”
“The idea, the common misconception, seems to be that we are arming Iran; that we are actually supplying Iran with nuclear weapons,” said White House spokesman Josh Earnest, “this is absurd, and it couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are not arming Iran with weapons of mass destruction. We are allowing them to arm themselves. That’s not the same.”
When asked why the second course of action was any safer or more acceptable, Earnest replied,
“It’s just… different.”
Lawmakers in Washington have been disputing the “Iranian question” increasingly over the past few months, with politicians on both sides of the aisle refusing to give ground. Democrats have received heated criticism for what has been perceived as capitulating to the Iranian state, a state which has been labeled by the GOP as “unpredictable and unsafe”. The White House voices a different opinion.
“Iran is our ally. Iran will always be our ally. I don’t think we can really deny that,” Earnest asserted, “Look, sanctions have worked. Just because Iranians are chanting ‘death to America’ and the Ayatollah is vowing to wipe Israel off the face of the earth does not negate Iran as one of our major foreign policy successes.”
As President Obama attempts to hammer out a deal with Iranian leaders at his fanciful, dream-gilded “negotiation table”, his critics insist that the results of the arbitration will be unsafe for the American people. The President, however, disagrees.
“Uh… I really… uh… am not sure exactly… uh… why people are… uh… saying this,” said President Barack Obama, reading from his teleprompter, “it’s… uh… it’s… silly.”
Vice President Joe Biden concurs, contending that Iran is completely safe, and does not pose a threat to the United States or its allies.
“Look, in the late 1970s, Iran had American hostages,” said Biden, “Now they don’t. That’s called progress, right?”
Responding to queries about Iran’s questionable views towards Israel, Biden stated,
“To say that Iran is anti-Jew is like saying that Hitler was anti-Jew. He wasn’t. He was just mean.
"It's all just talk," Biden continued, "When the Ayatollah says that the destruction of Israel is nonnegotiable, he's just talking. I'm sure he'll calm down.”
Meanwhile, 47 House Republicans, in a traitorous attempt to adhere to the Constitution and protect the world from potential nuclear warfare, have written and signed a letter to the Iranian head of state, warning the Ayatollah that any agreement signed without the consent of Congress will not be applicable, nor carry any weight.
“It’s just ridiculous,” said spokesman Earnest of the letter, “it’s ridiculous that they’d even bring the Constitution into this. Don’t they know how things work around here? It seems a little old fashioned.”
Vice President Biden agreed, saying that the letter was simply an attempt to undermine the authority of the executive branch.
“I can’t believe these lunatics,” said Biden, “who do they think they are? It’s as if they believe that Obama can’t do anything he wants. He’s the president, for crying out loud. What can’t he do?”
In response to negotiation attempts with Iran, House Speaker John Boehner formally invited Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to speak to a joint session of Congress in early March. Netanyahu attempted to dissuade lawmakers from making any sort of deal with Iran.
Netanyahu’s speech received a varied response, ranging from praise and commendation to scorn and contempt.
“I didn’t… uh… think it… uh… I didn’t think it was… uh… very good,” said President Obama, who was not present during the speech, and who never watched or listened to a recording.
The White House’s response to Netanyahu’s speech has increased suspicions of a deteriorating relationship between Israel and the United States, a deterioration that can perhaps be credited to Netanyahu’s poor leadership. Among Netanyahu’s numerous flaws and character traits that make him absolutely unsuited for office are honesty, integrity, courage, and concern for his people. The Israeli Prime Minister, however, maintains that the United States and Israel are as united as ever, in spite of rising tensions between the administrations and the negative comments made by Barack Obama to the French head of state.
“I mean, we all get a little frustrated with our friends from time to time, and we say things we don’t mean,” said spokesman Earnest, “we shouldn’t put too much weight on the president’s comments in this scenario.”
“Oh, we hate that stupid loser,” said Vice President Biden of Netanyahu, “[off mic] oh, I wasn’t supposed to say that?”
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