A few rules for everyone who is planning on ordering through a drive-thru in the near future...
If I say “medium or large drink?” and you say “medium” and I say “okay”, don’t get mad later when you find out there’s a small. What does medium or large mean to you?
Don’t assume the gender of the order taker. I’ve been called “ma’m”, and have plenty of female friends who have been called “sir”. Not cool.
There is no need to stop your car to order. When you restart it, my ears will bleed. (Unless you’re taking a five-hour order and are worried about excessive gas consumption).
Don’t take a five-hour order that will cause you to worry about excessive gas consumption.
Don’t ask for your sauce through the speaker. Ask at the window. Any sauce you request through the speaker goes in one ear and out the other.
Believe it or not, “yes” actually sounds a lot like “that’s it”. If I say “anything else” and you say “yes” and I proceed to tell you your total and ask you to pull around, cut me some slack.
DON’T MUMBLE, I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
Don’t start ordering if you don’t know what you want yet. Saying things like “I want… um…” or “I’ll have one of your… oh, shoot…” will have everybody laughing at you.
If I'm laughing while I take your order, it may be at you. However, it may also be because one of my co-workers tripped over a box and fell into a mop bucket.
If you MUST check your food, pull up and do so. Do NOT check your food at the window. It is really annoying, not only to me, but also to everyone behind you. I have orders to take, drinks to make, and meals to pack. Don’t hold up my line.
If your food is taking forever, it’s not my fault. I’m not making it.
If you order your food, and then pull out of line for ANY other reason than the fact that your wife is going into labor, never come back. You’re a jerk.
If you have coupons, don’t start telling me how much your meal should cost with the coupons as compared to how much it costs ordinarily. I already know. Besides, my computer does all that for me.
Don’t ask me if something is “good”; I’m obligated to say yes. Ask me what my favorite meal is.
Yes, I'd LOVE to hear about your grandmother, your neighbor's seven dogs, and your trip to Georgia last summer. Just not right now, okay?
I have to upsell. Maybe you don't like it. Neither do I. But while we're on the subject, would you like to add a dessert to your order?
Ask for all discounts, coupon prices, and promotions BEFORE I cash you out, not after.
Yes, there’re 35 cents on the ground that I dropped there earlier. No, you don’t need to get out and pick it up.
Get off your cell phone before you order. I don’t know if you’re talking to me, or to your friend.
Get off your cell phone before you come to the window. I don’t know if you’re talking to me, or to your friend.
Just get off your cell phone, please.
Wear clothes. I mean, REAL clothes, because those aren’t clothes. ‘Nuff said.
Think you can be cranky and terse with me because YOU’VE had a bad day? The guy in front of you just told me that he’s going to call my manager and get my “dirty, good for nothin’ $@& kicked out of the store”.
I am a human too. Don’t breathe cigarette smoke in my face, cuss at me, or let your deranged pit bull try to remove my appendages from my body. I like my appendages where they are (and if not, I’ll find a safer way to remove them).
If it’s raining, turn off your windshield wipers unless you’re trying to give me a bath.
Don’t try to give me a bath.
If I drop your food or make a mistake on your order, I feel terrible because I know how much it stinks to have stuff like that happen. I’ll probably give you a refund or free drinks, UNLESS you cuss at me and flip out. Then, I’ll just give you what you purchased (no courtesy drinks or discounts), send you on your way, and laugh at you later. People who are rude about our mistakes don’t realize that, with a little kindness, things are better for everybody.
If you’re nice to me, you’ll make my day (I might even slip a free cookie into your order). Everyone else is rude. It’s especially cool when you call me by name. My name tag isn’t there just so you can call my manager and complain about “Sam”.
If I say “medium or large drink?” and you say “medium” and I say “okay”, don’t get mad later when you find out there’s a small. What does medium or large mean to you?
Don’t assume the gender of the order taker. I’ve been called “ma’m”, and have plenty of female friends who have been called “sir”. Not cool.
There is no need to stop your car to order. When you restart it, my ears will bleed. (Unless you’re taking a five-hour order and are worried about excessive gas consumption).
Don’t take a five-hour order that will cause you to worry about excessive gas consumption.
Don’t ask for your sauce through the speaker. Ask at the window. Any sauce you request through the speaker goes in one ear and out the other.
Believe it or not, “yes” actually sounds a lot like “that’s it”. If I say “anything else” and you say “yes” and I proceed to tell you your total and ask you to pull around, cut me some slack.
DON’T MUMBLE, I CAN’T HEAR YOU.
Don’t start ordering if you don’t know what you want yet. Saying things like “I want… um…” or “I’ll have one of your… oh, shoot…” will have everybody laughing at you.
If I'm laughing while I take your order, it may be at you. However, it may also be because one of my co-workers tripped over a box and fell into a mop bucket.
If you MUST check your food, pull up and do so. Do NOT check your food at the window. It is really annoying, not only to me, but also to everyone behind you. I have orders to take, drinks to make, and meals to pack. Don’t hold up my line.
If your food is taking forever, it’s not my fault. I’m not making it.
If you order your food, and then pull out of line for ANY other reason than the fact that your wife is going into labor, never come back. You’re a jerk.
If you have coupons, don’t start telling me how much your meal should cost with the coupons as compared to how much it costs ordinarily. I already know. Besides, my computer does all that for me.
Don’t ask me if something is “good”; I’m obligated to say yes. Ask me what my favorite meal is.
Yes, I'd LOVE to hear about your grandmother, your neighbor's seven dogs, and your trip to Georgia last summer. Just not right now, okay?
I have to upsell. Maybe you don't like it. Neither do I. But while we're on the subject, would you like to add a dessert to your order?
Ask for all discounts, coupon prices, and promotions BEFORE I cash you out, not after.
Yes, there’re 35 cents on the ground that I dropped there earlier. No, you don’t need to get out and pick it up.
Get off your cell phone before you order. I don’t know if you’re talking to me, or to your friend.
Get off your cell phone before you come to the window. I don’t know if you’re talking to me, or to your friend.
Just get off your cell phone, please.
Wear clothes. I mean, REAL clothes, because those aren’t clothes. ‘Nuff said.
Think you can be cranky and terse with me because YOU’VE had a bad day? The guy in front of you just told me that he’s going to call my manager and get my “dirty, good for nothin’ $@& kicked out of the store”.
I am a human too. Don’t breathe cigarette smoke in my face, cuss at me, or let your deranged pit bull try to remove my appendages from my body. I like my appendages where they are (and if not, I’ll find a safer way to remove them).
If it’s raining, turn off your windshield wipers unless you’re trying to give me a bath.
Don’t try to give me a bath.
If I drop your food or make a mistake on your order, I feel terrible because I know how much it stinks to have stuff like that happen. I’ll probably give you a refund or free drinks, UNLESS you cuss at me and flip out. Then, I’ll just give you what you purchased (no courtesy drinks or discounts), send you on your way, and laugh at you later. People who are rude about our mistakes don’t realize that, with a little kindness, things are better for everybody.
If you’re nice to me, you’ll make my day (I might even slip a free cookie into your order). Everyone else is rude. It’s especially cool when you call me by name. My name tag isn’t there just so you can call my manager and complain about “Sam”.
I am laughing so hard right now! Its the post we've all been waiting for. Finally, someone will address the subject of "the drive-thru." Leave it to Sam Parker to Save the day. There's just too much truth in this post...
ReplyDeleteSam, you're awesome dude. What a great article. You make me laugh. :D
ReplyDelete@Mary Smith Very good points, thank you!
ReplyDeleteI agree, I try very hard not to talk through my headset while simultaneously having a conversation with the person at the window. It's rude and confusing!
I suppose when I ask "how are you?", I'm going for a polite greeting, and looking for a "I'm well" or "I'm alright" response, and less of a backstory. Not that backstory never has its place, it's just usually not on a busy Friday evening...
I totally agree that you should check your food at the restaurant; I do it every time because mistakes so often happen. I would only request that customers pull up and do so. That way, you are still at the store in the event that there is a mistake on your order, but you are not holding other people up. When a customer sits parked at the window and takes every box and package out of the bag and checks it all, the customers behind in line get frustrated and angry.
I think, overall, what I'm trying to say is that it's NOT a customer's obligation not to annoy me, but it IS a customer's obligation to treat me with respect and like a human being.
Again, thanks for the great comments!