As tensions mount between the United States and Russia, Russian president
Vladimir Putin has threatened to release satellite images that will serve to
expose the supposed U.S. government cover-up of its role in the September 11
terrorist attacks.
For years following the attacks that took the lives of nearly 3,000 people,
conspiracy theorists have been crying foul, insisting that the U.S. government
knew more than it let on prior to the attacks, and in some cases, going as far
as to insist that the U.S. played a direct role in the attacks for various and
nefarious reasons.
Now it seems that Vladimir Putin can satisfy the American people with the real
story. This comes as a relief to thousands, perhaps millions of
truth-seeking Americans who have demanded for over a decade that all the facts
surrounding 9/11 be released.
President Putin speaks from a position of obvious credibility; as an enemy of
the United States with a desire to discredit and dismember America, his
authority in this area is ultimate and unquestionable.
“We are so excited about this,” said one anonymous interviewee, “finally the
truth! We no longer have faith in the members of our government; they are
proven liars. We choose instead to believe the story proffered to us by
Putin, the Russian president with a history in propaganda and a defined hatred
for the United States.”
The interviewee was not aware of the shady facts or circumstances surrounding
the Putin Body Count, or his election.
Putin’s Russian propaganda is obviously much more plausible
than any story we have been handed by our own government, and he can be trusted
regardless of the fact that he is a liar and a cheater, and the fact that he
would do anything to damage the United States’ reputation on the global stage.
Meanwhile, the North Korean government is preparing to
release photographic evidence proving that the United States was responsible
for the brutality of the Crusades, and that the assassination of Julius Caesar
on the floor of the Roman Senate was backed by the American government.
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